Thursday I got my hair cut for the first time in months. My previous haircut took place right before our anniversary cruise, and Joan, my trusted stylist, accidentally got a huge bunch of the hair on top of my head stuck in the hair dryer. I did not know this had happened until I felt the pull and heard that sickening ripping sound which always accompanies attempts at removing hair that has been sucked into the wrong end of the dryer. Needless to say, when I looked in the mirror and saw all the short little hairs on top of my head (it was like a chia pet up there), I felt like crying. I kept it together until I got home, because I didn’t want Joan to feel bad. But I secretly determined not to return to her for a while.
So back to the present. Having gotten some recommendations for another stylist from some friends, I ventured into a new salon on Thursday. My hair had gotten midway down my back and was grossly lacking in any kind of style or shape. I explained that I wanted some of the length removed and a little shape added–nothing drastic. Denyce went to work, and I relaxed under her ministrations, confident that I would be transformed from a tired and styleless mom of three to a hot mama. Hmmm. It’s possible that my fantasies of this transformation were a little far-reaching, but it’s ok to dream, right? Ok, so what happened was that Denyce decided to put a bunch of layers in my hair but leave most of the length. It definitely felt lighter; unfortunately for me (and my loving husband), I looked like one of the cast members from the movie The Wedding Singer…specifically Adam Sandler’s rocker girlfriend (the one before he falls in love with Drew Barrymore). Seriously! I really wish I had a picture of this hair debacle but I wasn’t in my right mind at all and didn’t think about getting photographic evidence of this travesty. I don’t blame Denyce really. I wasn’t specific about what I wanted, and she just went with what she thought I wanted. I knew as soon as my chair swiveled and I met my reflection in the mirror that something was dreadfully wrong, but once again, I smiled, said “thank you so much,” and left. When I got home, Tim told me a few times it looked good, but his sort of awkward smile belied his words. I knew he wasn’t a fan, a fact which he confessed later that night. (I must insert here that he was completely sweet and gracious and never said anything mean.)
That night lying in my bed, reaching onto my pillow for the lost hair, I dreamed about hair and the possible solutions to my problem. Ok, I know I sound like the vainest person in the world here. I did realize that I was getting a little unbalanced in my thoughts. My obsession with fixing my bad haircut was tempered by many prayers of thanksgiving that I had hair at all and prayers for forgiveness that such a small thing like dead cells growing from my follicles had me all in a tizzy. By morning I had all but decided to leave it alone and hope it grew back fast. Alas!
I did not leave it alone. At naptime the next day, I sneaked out of my house (my husband works from home don’t forget), telling the older children I had to run an errand. 😉 The errand was running to the strip mall two minutes away from my house, walking into Great Clips and begging for help. The girl was very obliging and chopped my hair just below the shortest layer. Hurray! No more early 90s layers. Rats! No more long hair. Haha. I now have short hair. It wasn’t my plan, but I’m much cooler, and I’ll probably save quite a bit on shampoo and conditioner in the coming months. Incidentally, my hair now looks more like Drew Barrymore’s in the movie.